As I started my journey to a new way of living, I discovered that the thing that held me back most was myself. There were a number of things that I was doing that were holding me back. These included procrastination, fear and comparison. Some of my habits also held me back at the beginning.
People who procrastinate become very good a putting things on the long finger. They reschedule things again and again – moving reminders on their phone forward twenty-four hours or moving things on their to do list from day to day. When things are outside your comfort zone this becomes an easier way to deal with them. Things aren’t being put off or cancelled, just delayed. However, the more times something is rescheduled the easier it becomes to cancel it altogether.
Recognising procrastination is a huge step on the way to dealing with it.
Fear is one of the most crippling ways of self-sabotage there is. We all have fears but it is when we let them take over that they cause us bother. Stepping out of our comfort zone is always difficult. We begin to doubt ourselves and our abilities. The fear of failure is very strong. Fears that go with fear of failure are fear of criticism and fear of letting people down. These fears control our decisions and our outcomes. It is very hard to take the criticism or failure as an opportunity to learn, no matter how much we read about it. However until we overcome this fear we will do nothing.
Another fear we encounter a lot is fear of what others say. When someone decides to do something out of character or new, other people sometimes ridicule them or talk about them. This is especially true in small communities. This can prevent us taking action and doing something we want to do.
As with procrastination, recognising the fears we hold is the first step to dealing with them.
Another road that leads to self-sabotage is the road of comparison. When we begin to compare our achievements or our journey with others, we often see ourselves as falling short. This then becomes very discouraging and can lead to us giving up completely. We compare ourselves to a perceived idea of other people. Because we are all so good at self-criticism, we usually choose someone we think is doing better or achieving things faster. Comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy. The only progress that should matter to us is our own and the only person we should compare ourselves to is ourselves yesterday. This leads to growth and progress.
Self-sabotage is usually habitual. We do it subconsciously. Recognising our habits is a huge step on the way to changing them. Taking time to think about what we do, maybe even writing it down, is how we recognise our habits. Read the post about changing habits here. When we deal with our self-sabotaging behaviour and deal with it, we clear the way to progress and success. We also give ourselves the chance to enjoy the journey.
I found oils made my journey to overcoming my self-sabotaging habits much easier. I use a lot of Valor every day to help me with courage and self-belief, Believe helps me stop comparing myself to others and lots of oils help me to stop procrastinating - Highest Potential is the one I use most. I diffuse oils every evening and I have made up roller balls to help me during the day.