Meet Marie Doherty

On the surface I had all I wanted, my life was perfect. I was a mum and a teacher – two roles I loved. Inside though I was unhappy and frustrated. I was living in fear of what might happen. I felt like an imposter – I had no confidence in my abilities. I felt I had no control of my life. My happiness depended on what was happening around me. My purpose was defined totally by the roles I played – mum and teacher – and I wasn’t sure I was very good at either. I could see all the places where my life was lacking. I felt if I had lots of things I would be happier. I began to shop more to fill my life. I also was obsessed with having things and holding on to people. I spent my whole life trying to please everybody so that they would like me, so that they would need me. I had a real need for people to need me.

I woke in the morning wondering what would go wrong that day. I spent a lot of time wondering why me! My evenings, after finishing school work consisted of watching the TV and overthinking everything. At that stage I was becoming sadder and sadder and feeling more and more guilty because I had so much. All the while, I was putting on a great front.

I became more and more unhappy because the fear of losing what I had became real. I could see more and more clearly all that I was missing, all that others had, all that would make me happy. Then I realised my children were getting to the stage where they would be leaving the nest and retirement was on the horizon. I was going to lose the two things that defined me. I knew the time had come, I had to do something and quickly.

I had always been into holistic health but, over the years, life took over and I lost that part of myself. My days were filled with parenting and school and I thought there was no time left for me. At this stage in my life I knew I needed to find that part of myself I had lost. I began with mindfulness and meditation. This was life changing even though I was doing it through apps and it took longer than it might have. I was now taking control of my life. My days were no longer controlled by external influences. I was no longer reacting to what was happening, I was choosing how to act.

I knew I needed to get some balance in my life so that was my second priority. I was spending a huge amount of time on family and career and very little on other areas like fitness, friends and fun. Life balancing life coaching was exactly what I needed. I evaluated my life as it was and then set goals in every area of my life not just work goals. I began systematically working through these. Through all this I also discovered positive psychology, breathwork and EFT. All of these things combined created my transformation. It certainly took work and the thing I was missing was somebody to keep me accountable.

My life today is so so different to the life I had back then although, from outside, it may not look a lot different. I wake in the morning and my first thought is one of anticipation for a great day to come. I have learned to set my intentions, I have learned the importance of writing a list of things I am grateful for, of doing my tapping and my meditation. This sets me up for that great day. I don’t mindlessly react to situations, I am in control of my day. All the new skills I have learned have helped me realise I’m not getting to the end of the best bits of my life because I am creating new best bits. At home, I am less controlling, less moody and more present. I’m not trying to do lots of things at the same time. I am appreciating the little things and making more of them.

At work, I am more productive and more focused. I can get more done in a shorter time. My days are controlled by me not by others. I don’t spend everyday overthinking and second guessing. I have more time to spend developing relationships. My energy is put into that and not into living out what if scenarios in my head.

The biggest change, however, is an internal one. I have found purpose in my life. I realise I am more than just a mother or just a teacher. My happiness comes from myself. I have strategies in my life for when things are tougher. I have rediscovered my identity which I realise I had lost. My purpose came from the roles I had. Now, I am living my life on my terms. I am setting goals and working to achieve them. According to Positive Psychology true happiness comes from positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement. I have found all these things in my life. I was waking in the morning hoping the day would be good, hoping nothing bad would happen. Now when I wake I know exactly what my day will be like because I am in charge.

I decided to find a way to share what helped me so much. I became a certified Mindfulness and Meditation teacher, a life balancing life coach, an EFT master practitioner, a breathwork coach and a Positive Psychology practitioner. I can look at the future and see my children spreading their wings and living their own lives. I can see, a little beyond that, my retirement and, although these things still scare me, I know I have many things to look forward to, lots of plans and goals to achieve. My purpose now includes helping people experience the transformation I have experienced. I am as excited about the future now as I was when I finished my education degree at 21.

If my before sounds like some or all of your day, reach out to me. I can help you, I did it myself and the skills I have learned are what I use to help all my clients.

Book a call with me and we can chat and see how I can help you achieve the same results I have.

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